Before I Leap
by localsportsteam
Summary: Anna thought her quick engagement to the handsome Loyalist Hans would be the beginning of a beautiful life full of love and away from her cold, closed-off sister. But when she begins to see what her married life may contain, she fears she might find never find true warmth and compassion in anyone – or worse, that she might find it in the gruff Patriot apprentice, Kristoff.
1. Chapter 1

For the first time in forever, Anna held her head high. She had loosened her corset a bit (God, who decided they had to be so _tight_?) in celebration, and even though her useful hat was pushed back and hung around her neck, she held her freckled head high, smiling at people she vaguely knew as she passed them on the street.

"Hello!" she waved to a girl she had gone to lessons with, Margaret. The girl tentatively waved back.

Anna huffed a little. It had been three years – three years! – since The Incident, and people still treated her like she was made of glass. No, that wasn't _her_. She was affected by it, of course, who wouldn't be? And she still says a special prayer every evening before bed, but she's healthy and happy and will finally be whole in a mere 30 days!

A year or so after The Incident, people had started talking to Anna again, paying her attention. But when tragedy struck again, instead of helping her, people avoid her, unwilling to see her collapse. She did not. She added an addition to her special prayer and held fast that it was all somehow for the best.

But now she was healing through, as something had finally gone her way again. She scampered up the steps of an impressive merchant's shop, the largest in the area, it was boasted. A rather yin-yang combination for the shipping industry her family owned.

Anna pushed open the door, setting off a bell. "Hans!" she exclaimed, bouncing a little.

"I'm a little busy, darling." Hans said curtly, but with a smile.

"Oh." Anna suddenly felt alarmingly intrusive. Of _course_ he was busy, he ran the biggest shop in Boston for goodness' sake, why hadn't she had the decency to wait until he got back to the manor or until he sent for her? She's so _stupid_! She shifted her weight a little bit and settled back onto her heels.

Hans turned back to his apprentice, to whom he was giving condescendingly specific instructions as to how to stock the shelves. The apprentice a large, burly, blonde man stood, irritated but still listening. Anna didn't know exactly what she was supposed to do – should she leave? But in her confusion settled for awkwardly pausing and biting her lip.

"Do you need anything, Anna?" Hans asked, finally turning his attention to her.

"I-I was just working on wedding planning, and I wanted to show you-"

"That's very kind Anna, but I'm far too busy."

"Okay, well do you want to work on it together, maybe tonight? It's your wedding too, after all."

"That's sweet, dear." Hans cupped her face like a child and kissed her quickly. "But that's the woman's job."

"Oh, I-"

"But if you want to show me your little projects." Hans gestured to the basket Anna was now clutching with remarkable intensity. "I'll be back from meetings in a bit, you can show them then."

"Oh, okay…I'll just, uh, wait here." Anna nodded and smiled repeating, with more optimism. "Wait here!"

Hans turned around and ducked out of the store and Anna wasn't sure what to do. There was no one in the large shop, and the apprentice hadn't said anything to her, he was just precisely stacking things on the shelves. She sat down on a nearby barrel, putting her basket by her feet. She hoped he'd say something, but after a few minutes, it was clear he had no such intention.

"So, hello?" Anna said tentatively, looking up at him.

The man just gave her a quizzical look and went back to stocking the shelves.

"You know, most people say 'hello' back."

"Hello." He said gruffly. He surveyed her and huffed. "You're not going to be hanging around every day, right? I've got work to do and I don't have time to see all your projects."

"Don't be rude." Anna pushed her brows together. "I didn't come here to show you, anyway! I'm just waiting for Hans, I'm sure he'll be back shortly."

"I'm sure." he said flatly.

Anna decided to let this dig go, because he was the closest thing to a friend she was going to have until a customer came in, and there was only so long she could go without talking. In this case, it was about three minutes.

"So what's your name?" she asked, scooting back a little.

"I thought you weren't going to talk."

"I said I wasn't going to show you wearing the projects. I'm sure you're capable enough to stack goods and talk at the same time."

"I was the brainy one in my family." He nodded sarcastically. After a pause, he said. "I'm Kristoff."

Anna beamed. "I'm Anna!"

"Hans' fiancé." Kristoff nodded.

"He talks about me?" This shouldn't have been surprising or pleasing, they were getting married, after all. But the idea that Hans was proud of her, bragging about getting to marry her…it was more love that she could have every hoped for.

"Kind of." Kristoff said cryptically.

"What's a 'kind of'"

"He does. I don't know what I was saying." Kristoff quickly corrected.

Anna rolled her lips in. "So how much longer are you an apprentice?"

"I get to leave when I'm 18." Kristoff sighed. "Eight months."

"You don't sound very broken up." Anna pryed.

"Listen, I just want to finish up here so I can move on with my life. But I can't open a shop until I have this experience done."

"Are you going to open your own shop?"

"Yes. Uh, kind of. I have this buddy up north, Oaken, and we were gonna go into business together. But he's married and just keeps having children, Jesus Ch-"

"Language!" Anna scolded.

Kristoff sneered at her a bit. "Basically, I'm the only one not tied down, so I'm the only one who can find and take an apprenticeship. He'll run the store, I'll cut ice, fetch goods. Stock the place."

"Sounds wonderful!" Anna nodded sincerely, beaming. Best of luck to you."

"Thanks." Kristoff said gruffly. "So how long are you going to wait for Hans?"

"He said he'd be back soon, so until he gets back."

"He didn't say 'soon', and even if he had, I'd point out that it's a very relative term. I wouldn't get your hopes up." Kristoff said firmly.

"I'll be fine." Anna insisted, grabbing the sides of her perch. "So do you miss your family?"

"None to miss."

"That's…so sad. No one at all?"

"You ask a lot of questions."

"Most people at least _try_ to be interested in others, I see you don't feel the need to do that." Anna snipped.

"Easy there, feistypants." Kristoff held up his hands in surrender for a moment before returning to his work. "Just pointing out a fact."

"Well I'm sorry you don't have any family, is all." _I know how you feel…_

"Thank you for your sympathies." Kristoff tried to be more polite now, testing her fuse.

"So tell me more about yourself, then." Anna persisted, leaning forward and bunching up her skirts in her fingers anxiously.

"Not much to tell." Kristoff still insisted.

"I know that's not true." Anna pushed. "It doesn't have to be anything big, or personal-"

"It's about me, it's going to be personal no matter what." Kristoff laughed a little.

"Well, intimately personal, then."

"Well…" Kristoff leaned back against the shelves, crossing his large arms over his vest. "I'd say the first thing you have to know about me is….that I have to get back to work." He snorted and turned around, continuing to stock shelves.

"That wasn't even funny." Anna stuck out her tongue.

"Who's this, Mr. Bjorgman?" a slave man, Matthew, came out of the back storage, wiping a cloth across his brow.

"Oh, hello Matthew." Kristoff nodded, greeting the man. "This is, uh, Anna."

Matthew nodded curtly. "Pleasure, miss."

"You as well."

"Is this the Anna we've, uh, heard so much about?" Matthew mumbled to Kristoff, not aware he was loud enough for Anna to hear. Anna pursed her lips, scrunching her brow at Kristoff's quick nod.

"Damn…" Matthew mumbled sympathetically, quietly. Louder, he motioned to Kristoff. "I have a delivery to make to Mr. Nye, Master Hans says you got one to take to Mr. Jones." Matthew bobbed his head again towards Anna. "Again, pleasure."

"Well," Kristoff hovered over his next phrase. "I've got to go, Hans is strict with everything, but especially delivery times. Are you still gonna stay here?"

"Yes, I'll wait for Hans." Anna said assuredly. "I'm sure he'll get back as soon as you leave."

"Okay." Kristoff tampered with the word, sucking all the confidence out of it.

Anna looked up towards Hans' shelves, admiring her fiancé's work, and tried to busy herself for the next empty three hours, and at no point did Hans return. When she felt her stomach grumbling, she relinquished, rolling her body up tiredly and heading home, basket hung off her left arm.

Anna's walk home was quick, and she was the only intrusion into the house, making noise: slamming the door, clicking the lock shut, stomping up the stairs, stumbling up the stairs, and entering her room – another door slammed shut.

_Hello! Hello Elsa, I'm __**home**__!_ She internally screamed, hoping her sister would break her routine and once, just once peek her head into Anna's room, check on her, say hello. But today was not a day for changes: Hans was still late, Elsa was still cold.

But at least, today, she made a new friend.

…

Determined to catch him before any meetings, Anna headed out early that morning toward Hans' shop, same basket draped over her left arm. She walked briskly, and did not wave at or greet the people she passed by, her entire focus on Hans, getting to _Hans_.

The bells by the door flew back with alarming velocity as Anna forced her way into the shop, exclaiming. "Good morning, Hans!"

Breaking his conversation with a portly, powdered man, Hans whipped around, anger flashing in his eyes. "Hold your _tongue_, Anna, I am having an important conversation! **Kristoff**!" He barked at the apprentice, snapping his fingers. "Take her out, business is no place for a woman."

Kristoff crinkled his brow at Hans' reaction, but did as he was told nevertheless, putting a hand lightly on Anna's shoulder and leading- she shrugged it off and huffed, sliding the basket to the crook of her elbow as she crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling very cold.

"Sorry, that was, uh, Weselton." Kristoff said, a bit nervous. "He and Hans are always on thin terms, and he gets testy when he comes in to speak."

"He didn't have to be so rude." Anna snapped, hugging herself tighter.

"Are…are you okay? I mean, of course you're not, but you look like you're trying to compress your ribcage."

"I'm fine!" Anna snipped.

Kristoff didn't look like he believed her one bit, but he touched her shoulder gently and nodded, letting her try and believe herself. "Okay. Well, uh, I'm supposed to take you out, so where do you want to go?"

Anna spun on him, a bit disbelieving. "You're not my babysitter!" she laughed. "I'm fine, I can show myself out. I'll just…be back tomorrow! Or will Mr. Weaseltown-"

"Weselton."

"Weaselpants still be there?"

"No, he'll be gone by tomorrow." Kristoff chuckled a little.

"Then I'll see you then." Anna nodded curtly, picking up her skirts and walking away.

"No, please, just let me walk you home."

"I've lived in Boston my whole life, Christopher."

"Kristoff. You're not very good with names, are you?" he said, a bit annoyed.

"Haven't met a lot of people. Recently at least."

Kristoff wanted to press her for more information, it'd only be fair, anyway, after the way she had interrogated him yesterday, but he didn't want to give the girl a hard time and let it slide.

"Anyway," she continued. "I've lived here forever, I know the roads, and can look after myself. I'll see you, and Hans, tomorrow." She nodded her head with an extraordinary amount of confidence and took a step before looking at the path in front of her, causing her to half-step into a hole, twist, and fall onto her hip.

Anna cried out and Kristoff was at her side in an instant.

"Are you okay, did you twist your ankle?"

"I-I don't know!" Anna gulped down sobs and bit her lip. She was _not_ going to cry in front of all these people.

"Here, here let me help you up." Kristoff hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her up. "Try putting some weight on that foot, see what happens."

Anna steadied herself and then put her foot down, yelping when she felt lighting run up her leg. "No good, no good." She mumbled, shaking her head.

Kristoff paused and then swooped her up off her feet. "Where's your house, I'll take you home."

Anna gave him directions, saying seldom more than 'right', 'left', 'left', 'turn here'. Kristoff carried her over the threshold and laid her down on a fainting sofa, calling for one of the nearby maids to get the doctor.

Kristoff scooted a chair closer to Anna and reached out to stroke her hair, try and sooth her. He recoiled at the last moment. _You barely even know her! _Instead, he just leaned forward and spoke to her. "Next time you should probably look before leaping, feistypants."


	2. Chapter 2

Anna had not moved from her bed in five days, but it was not for a lack of trying. Her ankle was twisted and swollen, but after application of leeches and careful bandaging, it now had gone down a bit and she only needed about a week of rest. But it was a beautiful, sunny Saturday with great bursts of leaves upon the trees, fall winds setting in and cooling off the city and Anna did not, _not_ want to spend it indoors, swaddled up in her bed.

She tested her ankle, putting some pressure on it, and little zaps of pain shot through, but nothing she couldn't ignore, so she pressed on, getting dressed. She strung herself into her corset, counting off the dates on her fingers. _18__th__…Thursday was the 20__th__…yesterday was the 21__st__ – today is…Elsa's birthday._

She sighed a bit. Elsa was turning eighteen, and it meant so much more now post-The Incident and post-The Tragedy. She plodded down the hall, knocking on her sisters' door. Tentatively, but loudly, she asked "…Elsa?"

The door creaked open a bit. Elsa's eyes were bloodshot. "What, what is it, Anna?"

Every bit of annoyance Anna held against Elsa, every time Anna had been ignored, pushed away, and rejected was forgotten the second she saw the pain in her sister. "Elsa, please, tell me what's wrong."

"No, no you wouldn't understand!" Elsa waved her hands. "I just need to work through this by myself."

"Elsa!" Anna said with a little more intensity than she meant. "Please, if something's wrong, let me help!"

Elsa wavered a bit, but still managed to say. "No, Anna. This isn't for you. I can handle it."

"But you don't have to! It's the family business, not just yours!"

"No." Elsa corrected. "The will snafu made it so the eldest child got the business." She bit her lip. "Now, that's me."

"But it can be _us_! Elsa, I can do the people part of the business, you won't have to write so many letters. You can still stay inside, if that's what you need. I'll go talk to everyone, take the communication part completely out of your hands. Elsa, just let me in."

"You don't know everything that's involved." Elsa whispered. "It's not what…there's just so much…I can't let you see this, Anna. No. It's just not for you. But…thank you." She finished quickly and shut the door.

"Happy birthday." Anna sighed, allowing her head to roll forward and shuffling back to her room. Her ankle hurt.

…

"I'm not sure what you said to Anna, but thank you." Hans thanked Kristoff, and extraordinary action in and of itself, but even more unusual due to the fact that Kristoff had no idea what he did that was praise-worthy.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"Last week, when she was hovering around. You took her out for, what, half an hour? She hasn't bothered me since, thank god. I've got too much to do."

"You haven't seen Anna since last week?"

"Do not take a tone with me. You wouldn't understand how engagements work here among the civilized."

"There's nothing wrong with the north." Kristoff said defensively.

"I was referring to the more politically civilized." Hans sneered.

"Well, just so someone tells you, I didn't say anything startling to her. She twisted her ankle and is probably lying at home in pain still." He found himself put off by his own sentence, although he was only trying to use it to hurt Hans.

"A twisted ankle isn't that bad, she'll be fine."

"Right." Kristoff lied. "And I'm sure her family can take care of her."

"Her sister isn't good for much. But they can afford good doctors."

"Her parents?"

"Dead. The both of them." Hans stated it in the same way you'd announce the weather, or lament a poor hairdo. Tapping some tobacco into a pipe, he lit it and returned to business. "Have you done the inventory report?"

"Yes."

"Go make a delivery to Mr. Roberts. You're to wait for payment."

Kristoff had schlepped the sack of oats across town quickly, and then strolled back, very, very slowly. This was a bad idea. This was a very bad idea. He stood in front of Anna's door, hesitating. _Should I knock? __**I barely know her!**__ You've already been inside, technically. __**Yeah, to carry a wounded girl who couldn't walk by herself.**__ Right, which is who you're just checking on! _

He knocked on the door rapidly, feeling anxious, but he couldn't bring himself to feel regret.

A maid, in her late 50s, opened the door, straightening her mobcap. "Can I help you, sir?"

"I'm here to check on Anna."

"And you are…?"

Shit. "I'm an apprentice."

"Oh! I didn't know Doctor was sending someone today. Here, come in, come in. Didn't you bring supplies?"

"Not needed." He technically hadn't lied to her, and he really was of no disposition to correct her.

"Very well." The maid led him upstairs into Anna's fluffed room. She was lying on her side, under her covers, all the energy sucked out of her. Hearing footsteps, she rolled over.

"Kristoff!" she exclaimed, eyebrows shooting up. "I didn't expect-"

"Yes, he sent me." Kristoff said quickly, then turned to the maid. "We need privacy."

"Of course." The maid mumbled, bobbing quickly and ruffling out the door.

"Hans **sent** _you_? Why didn't he just come himself?" Anna sat up and began to furiously braid up her hair.

"S-sorry to catch you off guard." Kristoff stumbled a little, but then gathered himself to answer her question. "He didn't send me, actually. I came by myself."

"When is he coming, then?"

"I don't know. He didn't tell me." _Probably never._

"Oh." Anna sighed loudly and fell back onto the pillows, letting her head smack.

"How's your ankle? I wanted to make sure you were okay. It's been a while since you came down to the shop and annoyed everyone."

Anna stuck out her tongue. "I tried to come back today, but my ankle still hurts too much."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Me too." Anna propped herself up on her elbows. "But thank you for carrying me back. It was very nice of you. You're a very good friend, Kristoff."

"Since when were we friends?"

"Well we talked for so long, and you carried me home."

"That wasn't my fault, you didn't shut up!" Kristoff still found himself laughing.

"You still responded." Anna smiled. "You don't want to admit it, but we're friends. And you still carried me, you didn't have to do that, technically."

"Well I couldn't just leave you there." Kristoff rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't tell Hans I was swinging by, so I should probably head back."

"Aye." Anna nodded. "He's very concerned with other people's punctuality."

Kristoff chuckled a little at her comment. "Bye, Anna."

"Bye!" She chirped, fluffing the pillow around herself.

…

Three weeks. Her wedding was arriving faster, and lord knows Anna was not ready. It would've helped if Hans had pitched in, because she could not do it without him. Though it was 'woman's work', he was a very specific man, who wanted flowers a certain way, the food a certain way, everything to look and be just how he wanted it. He had given Anna a vague idea of what he wanted, but had become irritated when she pressed for details and she dropped the idea quickly.

She had done what she could, sketching out arrangements and planning menus, designing a dress. But if these plans were to be put into effect in time for the wedding, they'd need to be started _now_.

Her ankle was healed, but Anna still tentatively walked back to the shop. She didn't know if Hans was still busy, and maybe he didn't want to see her! Maybe he'd get even angrier, and Anna did not want him upset with her, he was all she had left.

She pushed open the door delicately, quietly. Peering her head in, she scanned the store. Empty. No Hans, but no stuffy businessmen either. She sighed and walked in more confidently now, scanning to ensure that he wasn't here.

"Hans?" she called out, drawing her precious basket closer to her chest.

"He's not here, can I help-" Kristoff, wiping his hands on a rag. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah!" Anna bubbled, smiling up at him. "I-I was hoping he'd finally be able to see." She held up the basket to finish her sentence for her.

"I know where he is." Kristoff shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I can take you over to him."

"No, he'll just get mad." Anna sneered a bit, crinkling his nose. "Can I see his store? He never let me in the backroom."

"Sure." Kristoff smiled, taking a step back and opening the door for her. "It's nothing special."

Anna stepped in and looked around at all the fine and exotic goods collected. Spices and perfumes, fabric and pottery. More expensive jewelry, cheaper threads. Something for everyone, and always something to intrigue. "I like it anyway." Anna smiled, reaching out to grab the salesgoods.

"Here, I can show you the office too." Kristoff interjected, sweeping open another door. The office was pristine and gilded, with fine wallpaper and a plush fainting sofa.

"Wow, this place is really nice!" Anna breathed, reaching out to touch the walls, the sofa, the desk, everything was polished to the point of being slimy. "_Really_ nice"

"Hans…he likes things a certain way."

"You're telling me." Anna grumbled.

"Is he nice to you?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry, that was way out of line. Forget-"

"No, no. It's fine. Of course he is, he's going to be my husband! He's very busy, which is unfortunate, but I understand. He was such a gentleman when I met him, and then he just got incredibly busy. Things will settle down when pre-wedding stress goes away, I'm sure."

Kristoff still didn't look convinced.

"Well, listen." Anna continued. "We met at the summer governor's ball-"

"The one at the end of _August_?"

"Yes, now-"

"The one that was just over _a month ago_?"

"I already said yes!"

"You've got to be crazy!" Kristoff crossed his arms. "You barely know him!"

"I know him well enough!" Anna insisted, balling her hands up into fists. "You don't get to criticize me too!"

Kristoff's face instantly shifted. "No, I didn't mean – it's just – "

"No!" Anna exclaimed. "I know what he's like! We danced and talked and he finally paid some attention to me! He showed up at my house every day for a week after that – with flowers, chocolates, conversation! He wasn't afraid to talk to me, to say what needed to be said! He's the first person who didn't treat me like I was made of glass!"

"Instead he treats you like you're something more malleable."

"He is a gentleman." Anna narrowed her eyes at Kristoff.

"And you just want to be his wife?"

"Yes, I've been saying that!"

"No, listen. You _just_ want to be **his wife**?"

"I'll go find him by myself." Anna snapped. "Where is he?" she called over her shoulder, picking up her basket and standing in the doorway of the shop, arms crossed.

"The shipyards, with Mr. Walters."

Anna cringed a little bit. She hadn't been to the shipyards in ages…well, in three years. She wasn't sure she wanted to go back alone. She wasn't sure she could. "Thank you for your help, Kristoff." She said shakily.

"No, hey, I'm so sorry that I've upset you this much. I wasn't trying to." He took a step closer to her, but Anna only backed up.

"It wasn't anything you said."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Anna lied. "I'm going now."

"Please let me walk with you."

"No." Anna said firmly, and Kristoff acquiesced.

…

Anna had no problem getting to the shipyards by herself, and no problem getting in. The captains and more permanent crew members all knew her, and reacted very differently upon her arrival. Some exclaimed loudly and hugged her, kissed her hand. Other's barely recognized her, having grown and changed quite a bit from being a more awkward 12 year old.

"Have you seen Hans?" she asked an old family friend, Captain Leone.

"Aye, he's about 40 feet south of ya."

Anna felt a knot in her stomach she could not explain, but she thanked the Captain in a characteristically quiet way and plodded her way forward, still clutching the basket.

"-now we're going to change the whole idea of shipping, Walters." Hans was saying. "We're going to divide them up by area, and send them out on regular routes, no matter the amount of cargo. My boats will-"

"Elsa's." Anna corrected.

Hans spun around at the sound of her voice. "Anna! What are you doing here?" he demanded and she took a step back, although she knew he would not hear her.

"Well, it's _my_ family's shipyards, but mostly because I wanted to see you!"

"Are you still nagging with that stupid basket? Dammit, Anna, do whatever you want, I don't care!"

Anna curved into herself. "Please don't swear at me."

"Well then don't make me so frustrated! You've been following me like a puppy for the past week, just to show me some basket full of scribbles and flowers."

"It's for our _wedding_, Hans-"

"Our wedding is going to be fine. Now _go_, Anna!"

Anna bit her lip and turned on her heel. She held in her tears the whole way home, but had tossed the irritating basket into the harbor as she left the shipyard.


	3. Chapter 3

Kristoff felt unsettled, unbalanced. He wanted to chase after Anna as soon as she left and make there she got there safely, for one thing, but also to ensure that Hans didn't do anything to her. But she had said no, very clearly and several times and he had to trust her to take care of herself.

But this desire posed another question: _why_ did he want to go after her? She was just an overly-peppy, nagging customer who didn't know when to shut up and leave him alone to work. Not to mention, she was an _engaged_ overly-peppy, nagging customer who didn't know when to shut up and leave him alone to work. Not even just that, she was an engaged _to his master and official worst enemy _overly-peppy, nagging customer who didn't know when to shut up and leave him alone to work.

Still, he felt this desire and ambition to ensure her safety. He wanted to make sure no one bothered her in the city she knew so well. He wanted to take her away from Hans. Every time Hans sneered or snapped at her, he wanted to say something to her, comfort her. But even if he had been able to, he wasn't sure what he would've said.

There was no way he _liked_ her, he wasn't good for her. He'd weigh her down, diminish her pep, extinguish and crush her. He was too grumpy, too burly, and too big. They just wouldn't be good for each other, and that was the end of it. He was just…something. Attracted to her? He cringed at the thought. Kristoff whipped his head over his shoulder, as if someone was there, as if they could hear his inner thoughts. But the store was still empty, Hans had not returned, and no one was listening to him.

She was cute, he'd admit that. All rebellious freckles and lively red hair. Persistent and vivacious. Optimistic. Trusting. But his feelings for her were purely physical, they just had to, _had_ to be. He felt nothing for her on a deeper level. She was Hans' fiancé and she was annoying.

He forced this resolve into himself and continued cleaning the store, sweeping and dusting. Annoying. Naggy. So social graces. Stumbling. Too trusting. She was _not_ the girl for him, and he was _not_ the boy for her. He could live with that, right?

…

Anna was used to not getting enough sleep, she never had. As a child, she was obsessed with playing, exploring. Everything was new, fascinating, and exciting and she just had to see all of it, touch it, and experience it. She'd drag Elsa out of bed at two in the morning, barely grasping the concept of time herself, and exclaim excitedly that it was snowing, _snowing_, and only **_October_**! They just had to go outside and, oh, Elsa was so good at building snowmen! She was bigger and stronger and could lift the giant snowball up to make the head.

They had hid carrot noses in the barn behind the house. Some were for feeding the horses special treats, but the vast majority gave spunk and style to snowmen. Anna would forgo a good night's sleep for the chance to romp around with her sister. Even now, she'd trade any good rest she could've ever had for the chance to pull Elsa outside once more. Back to the barn, back to the past, back before The Incident.

But tonight was even worse, because though sleepless, it was different. Anna was not awake because she was excited, she was awake because she was very afraid. Had she made a mistake by getting engaged so quickly to Hans?

They had met so romantically, four weeks and two, almost three, days ago. She had finally dragged Elsa out of the house, even though her sister objected up to the date itself and complained all the way through the dance, arms wrapped around her ribcage. Anna tried to coax her out onto the floor, into a conversation, into some pre-The Incident part of her sister that just had to still exist, but to no avail. Elsa sat by herself, looking stony and stoic, icily sipping tea.

Still looking to seize the opportunity to dance and mingle, Anna joined in on all the reels, taking any partner that asked her. She wasn't the best dancer, all the teachers in Boston could not make her steps dainty, but she was spinning and grinning and enjoying herself now more than ever before.

And this light, this vivacity, was noticed by a certain young man.

"Hans Westergard, at your service."

He introduced himself after a reel, taking advantage of the lull between the faster-paced dance and the beginning waltz. He had asked her to dance and, although inappropriate, monopolized her for the night. Anna was blushing and stumbling and smiling, in almost disbelief when he continued to invite her to dance.

After quite a period of dancing – she had no true concept of time – they had strolled through the gardens, talking and sharing and after so many years Anna finally got another human _connection_. A real one.

He had showed up the next day with intent to formally court her. Anna grew red in the face after he asked, and remembered mumbling that he could not properly ask her father, for he was dead. Hans nodded like he already knew and asked again to take her out.

Stomach and heart fluttering, she agreed excitedly, accidently slapping him a bit and then apologizing profusely. After a week of wooded walks, he proposed.

Anna screamed 'yes' so loud she began to cry. Marriage. Forever.

Someone to sleep next to at night and see in the morning. Someone to talk to and cherish her. Someone to say nice things and mean them. A husband, a family, a life. Everything she could ever want presented in front of her, all encapsulated in a small golden band.

But now, she tossed and turned, punching pillows and exhaling loudly. She didn't want to break off her one shot at happiness, but she feared what would happen if she were to discover that this wasn't much of what she wanted at all.

_It just had to be!_ She told herself. She had read enough fairy tales to know a love story when she saw one, and she was living one! The ball, the romance, _true love_!

But love was not ignoring you, snapping at you, being short and cross. Love was not favoring your business meeting over your wife. Love was not annoyance and second guessing. Love, true love, was softness and kindness and kind things sincerely whispered. Love may have used to be Hans, but perhaps it wasn't anymore.

Anna tried to push this thought from her mind very quickly. If love wasn't Hans, then what did she have? She was back to being lonely, sitting at home and praying that Elsa might just venture out on her own, or at least crack open the door to let her in. But that was more hopeless than anything else, and Anna knew that would be a new level of naivety were she to believe that she and Elsa could ever repair their relationship.

_"Trust me Anna, this isn't __**good**__!"_

_"What do you know about love, anyway? You haven't spoken to another human being in person in months Elsa! Has it been a year? All you do is fret over the business and write long letters. If you just went down to the docks – I'll walk with you! – and __**talked**__ to the suppliers, your two weeks worth of writing and waiting would be reduced to an hour! It's the only logical thing, Elsa! But you aren't logical! You're stubborn and bitter and __**cold**__!"_

_"I'm not doing this on purpose, Anna! It's hard!"_

_"You're only making it harder for yourself, Elsa! Why are you so determined that no one can feel love again? It's been three years since The Incident-!"_

_"Say it!" Elsa screamed, balling her skirts up in her fists._

_"Say what?"_

_"Say what happened, stop calling it 'The Incident'! That only makes you forget, and when you forget you let this kind of thing happen again, and you forgive! You've forgiven them, Anna!"_

_"Of course I haven't forgiven __**them**__, but we don't know who __**they**__ are, Elsa, it was a mob!"_

_"Not the mob, __**everyone**__! Everyone helped them because no one stopped them!" tears streamed down Elsa's face and her voice wavered, but she continued talking. "But you just forget and forgive and go on talking to people and now you're engaged-"_

_"I'm in love, Elsa! He had no part in The Incident-"_

_"Say it! Say it! Tell me what those people!" Elsa jabbed her finger toward the door, where a bustling town lay outside. "did to our parents! To mother and father! What did they do?"_

_"They killed them, I know! I know! The Patriots came and tarred and feathered our parents! They poured molten tar on their bodies and forced tea down their throats. They're dead, I know! I know! I KNOW!" _

_Anna and Elsa stood in silence for a moment, lips quivering. "I know." Anna broke the silence, speaking softly. "But just because our parents are gone doesn't mean we have to be. Elsa, come to the wedding, please. We're getting married in a few weeks. I'm not even throwing an engagement party…I-I don't have many friends. No one speaks to me properly…except Hans. Elsa, please. He's the only one who's different. He loves me, he talks to me like a person…Elsa…let me have this." Anna twined her hands together and bit her lip._

_"Anna, you just met him, you can't possibly-"_

_"Trust me"_

_"Anna, no! You ask for my blessing, but my answer is no. I can't let you do this."_

_"Don't bother showing up." Anna rolled her shoulders in. "But you can't change my mind."_

It was too much. Too harsh, from both sides. Elsa, already spending the majority of her time in the house, retreated to her last haven: her bedroom. Anna pleaded with her to leave, go down to the docks, even just go downstairs. But it was too late, her sister was freezing through and Anna could not stop it.

Anna had to venture out to seek the love she needed. She was in town every day, seeking out strangers to turn into friends, into best friends, into husbands if at all possible. But people held her tentatively, treated her lightly; they were sure she would break. And with every day she stayed together, they became more confident that she would explode to compensate.

But Anna knew she could not let that happen. She wouldn't. Anna knew she could find love, she had sought it so persistently. And the next morning, she walked down to the shop in order to find and secure it.


End file.
